Stronger Than Me
by Fragmental Dani
Summary: Cho has questions; Harry needs to to confess. How will this makeshift Harry/Cho fic turn out? Try it on for size and see! Kinda angsty, too.


**Stronger Than Me**

By Dani

Warnings: Spoilers through GoF. Set in the 5th year. And yeah, it's prolly been done before. 

Harry removed his glasses, leaning forward into his hands to rub the corner of his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. He felt like a complete git sitting there in the hallway, leaning against the walls, just because a note had asked him to. Given his current situation, he wasn't allowed to be anywhere alone unless someone knew where he was. Well, no one knew where he was since his note had asked him to come alone. But the person who had written the note knew he'd be there, waiting. The note was burning a hole in his pocket and he found himself very nervous. He put his glasses back on and yawned, feeling tired from a day where he had willingly immersed himself in his studies to get his mind off this meeting. He was not going to act like an idiot. He was simply refusing to. 

Earlier, on his way to lunch with Ron and Hermione, a group of Ravenclaw girls had passed them. Harry had felt a bump against his side and then found a note inside his pocket with his wand. When his hand closed around the note inside his pocket, he looked back to the girls to see Cho Chang staring back at him, one finger pressed to her lips as if to hush him. She looked away, tossing her dark hair over her shoulder, instantly in conversation with her girlfriends again. He had waited until he had the chance to make an excuse of having to use the bathroom before he read it, locked behind a bathroom stall. 

_Harry, _

_I know that you're not supposed to go anywhere alone, but I really need to talk to you. I'm sorry that I've ignored the fact that I've wanted to talk to you for such a long time, but I really can't wait any longer. It's about things that we're not supposed to talk about which is why I ask that you come alone. I know it's dangerous and everything, but if you can be outside the Transfiguration classroom at nine tonight, I'd be forever grateful. If not, I understand. I wouldn't want to talk about it either if I were you. But please, if you can…_

_Cho _

So his afternoon had been spent with his head buried in his books, trying not to anticipate this meeting too much. He knew exactly what she wanted to talk about and he found it funny that he had wanted to tell _her_ above all people all summer. He knew his hopes were getting too high thinking that she'd ever let him confide in her after he had first seen her on the Hogwarts Express. Their eyes had locked, and she scowled at him. She shook her head in such a way that it screamed, "How _could_ you?" Harry had only hung his head and went to sit with Ron. She hadn't spoken to him all semester and all the looks she gave him were dark and dirty ones. Harry knew she must still be hurting. He also knew exactly who she blamed. He didn't mind though. He blamed himself, too. And he was content with the fact that she'd never see him the way he wanted her to, but he wasn't going to stop dreaming.

He leaned his head against the wall again, staring up at the ceiling. His eyes closed and he swallowed hard as he heard footsteps. He began to think that he should have worn his Invisibility Cloak, suddenly realizing how much trouble he'd be in if he did get caught. If the footsteps didn't belong to Cho… He knew Ron would be looking for him soon. Ron's bath would only last so long before he found Harry was missing. Even though there was a note pinned to his pillow swearing he was okay, he just needed to be alone for a bit, he knew Ron would hunt him down. He wouldn't doubt Hermione would be at his side as well. 

"Uhm, Harry?" a voice called. 

Harry jumped a bit, his heart suddenly beating wildly at seeing Cho standing there. "Hey," he managed to squeak, instantly damning himself for the pathetic attempt of speech. He wanted to smile at her, but her face showed no thrill of being there at all. 

"Come with me, okay? I know a place where we won't get caught," she said. 

Harry nodded silently, standing up. This close to her, he realized that she wasn't that much taller than him anymore. Not that it mattered, anyway. He sighed deeply as she led him quickly down hallway after hallway, checking both ways before motioning him on at crossings. They finally reached a large open space hidden away beneath a staircase, sandwiched beside a wall and a row of creepy looking gargoyle statues. The space underneath seemed nicely furnished. There was a bench and a few chairs, and candelabra lit it up.  

Cho sighed and sat down in one of the chairs. "I hope you don't mind this place. It's a bit cramped, but at least most teachers don't know about it. Nor does Filch," she said.

Harry shrugged and sat down in the other chair. He was glad his voice didn't fail him again. "I've endured worse. It's fine." He was amazed to get a curious stare from her, but he didn't dare say more. How would she ever respect him knowing a place like this had been his home for most of his life?

"Thank you for coming," she said. Harry noticed she was wringing her hands. "I know this could mean so much trouble for you. Not just you coming here, but talking… I mean, I want to ask you things that we've been forbidden to ask you. I think I could get expelled for even thinking of all this."

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he shook his head. "It's alright. I know what you want to ask. I came here prepared to talk about it. It's you and I here, right? No one else will know."

"Yeah. I hope not. If word gets out that you and I were here… together?" She sighed deeply. Then she squinted at him. "You do know what this place is, don't you? I mean, you Gryffindors must have a place, too, right?"

"Er, no. Not really," he said. 

Her eyes lifted to the ceiling. "Some kids use empty classrooms, I suppose. Cedric always brought me here, though. Even if it is kinda on the Hufflepuff turf," she said listlessly. 

Harry scratched his head. "Just like a place to talk?"

"No. Just like a place to… I don't know how to put it without being blunt. If you and I were caught here, there'd be rumors of us dating getting around, okay?" she said.

Harry turned bright red, all the way to the tips of his ears. It wasn't just because of what she had said, but because the thought of Ron finding him and telling others was quite possible. "Oh." He swallowed hard again. "Yeah, the Gryffindors have a make-out point as well." He instantly felt like a git for saying it. 

Cho nodded. "I figured they did."

Harry stared down at his hands. He had just lied to her. If the Gryffindors in fact had such a place, he knew nothing of it and probably never would. The thought of her and Cedric, holding each other… kissing… He tried not to flinch. She wasn't here to discuss that, though. She wanted to hear about Cedric and what had happened to him. He began to wonder exactly what she wanted to know when he heard his voice speaking again, quite unbidden. "I know it was my fault." His eyes stayed fixed on his hands, now fidgeting with his still broken watch. He was scared now. The images of what had happened didn't bother him as much as they had a few months ago when they ran through his mind because a false sense of invulnerability surrounded him now. What scared him was the fact that the words he had just spoken were how he had always planned to begin to tell Cho everything. She didn't care though. He didn't want to say it. 

"Harry!" The tone of her voice made him look up at her. She wore the same expression she had been giving him all year. Harry realized then that her face wasn't screwed in anger or blame. It was worry. "I know you probably think I blame you. I've heard so many rumors as to what happened, that I don't know what to believe. That's why I had to ask you here. I want to know the truth, if you can bear to tell me." 

Harry looked away. He'd been an idiot. All semester his heart had been hanging by a string because he had misinterpreted what Cho's countenance was telling him. "I'll… I'll tell you anything, Cho. Tell me what you want to know."

"I've just heard so many stories. I know they all can't be true," she said.

"I guess you can tell me what you've heard then. I'll go from there."  Harry nodded at her, glancing at her and then away again. 

"I know that you and… Cedric… took the Cup together, right?"

Harry nodded.

"It was a portkey. You two vanished. But why did you take it together?"

"We were arguing over who deserved it. He wouldn't let me give it to him, and taking it with him was the only way I was going to take it. It was even my idea," Harry said slowly.

"Did you know?" Cho asked.

"What? That it was a portkey? Are you kidding? Yes, I willingly took a hold on that thing knowing it would lead me to Voldemort," Harry said, looking up at her. Did she really think he was that low of a human being? He watched her flinch at the mention of the name Voldemort. He wasn't going to shy away from saying that name, especially now. Especially when Voldemort was trying to get him to fear him more. "Honestly, Cho, I had no idea. You mean that there are actually rumors that say I knew?" 

Cho nodded slowly, frowning still at Harry's use of You-Know-Who. "I am not saying I believed it. I just want these awful rumors gone from my mind, okay?"

Harry nodded. "It was my idea for him to take it with me. Had I known what was going to happen, I'd of flung myself upon it before he even caught a glimpse of the blasted thing. Everything happened so fast. We took it, and there was Wormtail and…" 

"Wormtail?"

"Yeah. Voldemort's right hand man. He's a man that you'd know the name of should I speak it, but it's best to let everyone think he's dead for now. Anyway, before I had even recognized that bastard Voldemort had instructed him to kill Cedric and without a second thought he was gone," Harry said. 

"So you didn't and Cedric didn't fight them? Cedric didn't die while you hid behind him?" Cho's eyes were glistening with tears. 

Harry shook his head, begging her silently not to cry. He'd seen girls cry before, but they'd never made his throat go hollow the way it was doing now. "Cedric died almost instantly the moment we got there. Later on, after Voldemort had been revived…"

"So He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is back? He has been revived?" 

"Thanks to me, yeah. He needed my blood to be brought back and well, he got it. That's why the Cup was a portkey in the first place. Wormtail and Voldemort and a bunch of Death Eaters were there. I've been advised not to repeat their names otherwise I can be sued for slander or something stupid like that," Harry said. 

"Well that's dumb," Cho said.

"It sure is," Harry said, noticing that her tears had faded, unshed.

"I want you to know that I've never once even doubted you when I heard that awful rumor about this all being some elaborate story you've made up in your supposedly psychotic mind to kill Cedric just to be the only Hogwarts Champion and truly win the Cup," Cho said.

Harry gave a small laugh. "I didn't want to be in the darn contest anyway."

A silence fell for a few moments as Cho thought carefully. "So, he just died then? You brought his body back just so it could be buried properly?" 

"No. Cho, all this really is between us and won't get any further right? I know that girls like to gossip and all, and I'm not accusing you of being that kind, but…"

"I could be expelled for even thinking of this, Harry. It goes no further, I swear it on Cedric's honor." 

"All right then. I saw him again after he died," Harry said.

Cho's jaw dropped. "H… How?" 

"I fought Voldemort again. All the times that I've faced him in the past, I've been successful to some point. This time I wasn't able to completely defeat him. I did force the spirits of sorts out of his wand, the spirits of the most recently… murdered by Voldemort's wand. Cedric was the first, followed by a bunch of others. He asked me to take his body back to his parents. I got the feeling he wanted to say more, but my strength was wavering in the fight I was in. I'm sorry, but I didn't have the time."

Cho's hands were over her mouth, her eyes wide, focused on Harry. The tears that Harry feared were on her cheeks now, but she let them spill bravely. She didn't sob or whimper. Her voice held strong when she spoke again. Harry couldn't help but think that she was a beautiful creature when she cried. He would bet that her tears felt as soothing as those shed by Fawkes. Her hands finally fell. "Did you know any of the others?"

Harry nodded. Suddenly he didn't want to confide everything in her. He didn't know how to tell her that he'd seen his parents. He wanted to seem just as strong to her as she did to him. "Yeah, a couple. I shouldn't mention them to you, though."

She nodded and wiped her eyes with the back of her hands, taking in a deep breath. "It was quick then. No suffering. That's good to hear, at least. And… Harry, I never doubted you, honestly. There are just so many rumors flying, and that look you get on your face every time you look at me…"

"I'm disgusted with myself." He had said it. Of course he had told Ron and Hermione the entire true story of what had happened, but he had left that part out. It was the truth that he wanted Cho to know for some reason. He swallowed hard, his eyes on the floor. He didn't dare trust himself to look at Cho again. A giant lump was in his throat. He had wanted to look really brave in her eyes and here he was fighting back his own tears of self-loathing. Cedric should still be sitting there with Cho, not him. Cho should have a ring on her finger from Cedric by now. 

Arms surrounded him and hugged him tightly. He hugged Cho back, feeling lightheaded at the scent of her apple shampoo. The hug didn't last very long, but it had calmed him greatly. He didn't want to cry anymore. He suddenly wondered why he had even felt incompetent in the first place. 

"If I catch anyone spreading those rumors about you anymore, they'll be wearing my fist on their nose," Cho stated smartly as she sat back down. 

Harry gave a small laugh at that thought. "I wish I were that brave," he said, smile coming to his lips. He felt completely at ease now that she was smiling back at him.

"You? That brave? You're braver than I could ever pretend to be! I've heard all sorts of rumors of the adventures that you've led your friends on and…" 

"Adventures? Is that what people call them?" Harry laughed again. "It's more like we get forced into it because we know we have to do what's right. You'd do the same if you were put there. I'm sure you've done some things like that before, but you just didn't get caught. No one thought of it as an adventure."

"Hmm. Maybe so," Cho said, looking as if she were thinking. 

"Wasn't being part of the second task an adventure?" Harry asked. 

Cho nodded. "Yeah, but I knew I'd be safe. It wasn't life threatening."

"You'd put your life on the life just to have an adventure? It's easier to laugh about when it's over, sure, but while it's happening…" 

Cho shrugged. "Well, I want you to know something else, too. I don't know if they plan to use you directly in the war against You-Know-Who now that I know he's alive. I hope they don't. But if for any reason, you need my help with anything, anything at all, big or small, no trouble or expulsion risked, don't you dare hesitate to call on me."

Harry grinned. "All right."

Small silence came between them as they both tried to think of something more to say. Then Cho gave a small start. "I almost forgot! I have to know one more thing."

Harry lifted his eyebrows inquisitively. 

"Did you hate Cedric? This isn't coming from a rumor or anything, but from what he and I used to talk about."

"Hate him? No, not really. Honestly, I helped him out on the first task. I'm sure he told you. Then he repaid me on the second one," Harry started.

"Yeah, but… After the New Year and the second task, he felt like you didn't like him much anymore. You do know he had nothing to do with those badges, don't you? Because he tried his hardest to get rid of them," Cho said.

 A smirk crossed Harry's lips. "I never hated him. I was just jealous," he admitted. He closed his eyes, hoping she wouldn't ask why.

"Why?" 

He had to think for a moment. He couldn't just blurt out that it was because Cho had gone to the ball with Cedric, or that she and Cedric dated, or any of that. "I guess it's because he had a lot that I wanted," he said wisely. "He was popular, but not awkwardly so. Everyone loved him. Everyone liked him in the Tournament. I had a lot of what he had, but my hand had always been forced in the matter. Does that make sense?" 

Cho nodded, reaching into her robe's pocket. "Yeah, I guess I can see. I wanted to show you this though. He was only able to do this to one badge and he gave it to me." 

She had pulled out one of the horrid "Support Cedric Diggory" badges. Only this time, it read, "Support Cedric Diggory, One Hogwarts Champion." When she got it to flash, Harry smiled. It read, "But Harry's One Hogwarts Champion, Too." 

"He always thought you hated him. I hope that his mind was changed before the end," Cho said, putting her badge back in her pocket. 

Harry nodded. "I think it was. The way I was stubbornly insisting that he was better than I, I sure hope he did understand that it was just me being jealous."

Cho's smile turned to a sly grin. "I think Malfoy's really jealous of you, too." 

Harry rolled his eyes before he had the chance to think twice. "What was that you said about your fist? I think Malfoy has written a book on these rumors." 

Cho looked down. "He asked me to meet him after dinner for a walk one night."

Harry coughed. "You're joking!" 

Cho shook her head. 

"Well, what did you say? I mean, not that it's any of my business or anything," Harry said, wishing he could take back how quickly the words had rambled out. 

"I tried my hardest not to laugh. There weren't enough people around for me to laugh. I know that's horrid of me. But I told him that my heart was still trying to get over Cedric. And that when it did, I already had my heart set on someone. So I think that the rumors may get worse in the upcoming weeks, Harry."

It took Harry a few moments to make sense of what she had said. He looked up at her hopefully but she had stood up, seeming as if her words hadn't held the promise he had heard in them.

"I just hope that I won't be turned away. Come on, I better get you back before they have the whole school hunting you," she said.

Harry didn't say a word as he let himself be led back to the Transfiguration classroom. 

"Be careful getting back, okay?" Cho warned. 

As she hurried out of his sight, he flattened himself against a wall, still in disbelief. He felt like he had warm jelly for insides and he knew he had a huge grin on his face. Given his situation, he didn't have much to be happy over. This was definitely one of the moments he could summon a Patronus with. 

"You stupid idiot! Harry, you are so dumb! Where have you been?" Ron whispered harshly to him. 

Harry didn't answer. 

Ron's hand waved in front of his face. "Hello? Anyone home? Earth to Harry!" 

Hermione came marching up behind him. "Is he okay?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine, guys. Come on, let's get back before we get into trouble." 

Once he was in his bed, Harry's mind tried to forget his scolding from Ron and Hermione. His mind drifted back to apple-scented hair, and he grinned into his pillow, glad no one could see what a git he truly was.

~O~     ~O~     ~O~     ~O~     ~O~     ~O~    ~O~     ~O~     ~O~     ~O~     ~O~     ~O~    ~O~ 

_You said you want to start making new friends   
Well I'd found some peace   
You want release   
You must be stronger than me _

_I don't know how you can take it   
Invest your heart and then you break it   
I don't know how you can set it free   
You must be stronger than me   
Set it up but it's not perfect   
Tear it down cause it's not worth it   
If someone else can light your mystery   
They must be stronger than me _

_So I closed my eyes at midnight   
Cinderella must go home   
But the map was burned   
And I've taken a wrong turn   
And I found myself alone   
I'm tired of this war   
I don't want to fight no more   
You must be stronger than me _

_~From Stronger Than Me by Melissa Etheridge~****___

~O~     ~O~     ~O~     ~O~     ~O~     ~O~    ~O~     ~O~     ~O~     ~O~     ~O~     ~O~    ~O~__

A/N: Actually folks, I'm a Harry/Ginny fan. {^_^} Please critique as necessary. Sorry guys. This is a one-shot fanfic so there won't be any further chapters. 


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